Embrace the Waiting

Have you ever continually prayed for something but didn’t receive an answer for a long time or maybe you’re still waiting for an answer? You know God has the answer and you want to follow His will, but it seems to be taking forever. People are telling you to figure it out, but it’s not up to you. Do you ever feel like God might be ignoring you and making you sweat it out just for the fun of it? I get it, I’ve been there. In fact, I’m there right now.

I have been praying for God to give me the answer to this long-time prayer, it's not a small one either. And while it might be easier to just make a decision on my own, I know that’s not a good idea because I’ve tried that before. I thought since God was taking so long, I would take matters into my own hands because I know what’s best for me, right? Wrong. I made this decision without consulting God about it, and I ran around telling everyone that I had figured everything out. I thought since it was such a brilliant idea on my part God must have thought so, too. Well, it turns out that He really does know me better than I know myself and thankfully He isn’t afraid to tell me that. God later gave me a glimpse of how wrong this idea was. He can see the future whereas I tend to focus on the here and now. I like getting things done as soon as I can, so I don’t have to worry about them. So, I was back at the drawing board with no plan.

If you know me, you probably know that I hate not knowing exactly what I have to do and when I have to do it. I like to have everything planned out and on a time schedule, so I don’t miss anything important. To show you what I mean here’s an example. One time in high school I was helping plan an event and I had a list of things to pick up that night. It was no big deal, and I knew I had enough time to get it all done. But then something else came up that threw my schedule out the window. Cue the tears. I had a whole meltdown that night because I was afraid that I wouldn’t get everything done in time and the event would be ruined. As you can probably tell from the story, I get upset when I’m stressed and vice versa. So, in terms of this big life decision I have yet to make, you’re probably imagining me being a complete and utter wreck, sobbing on the floor and pulling my hair out, in a constant state of stress and fear. Was I close? Well, that’s pretty much what I looked like in the beginning. Fast forward a couple of months to now and you might be shocked to find me as cool as a cucumber and stress-free. It sounds shocking I know.

The point of this post isn’t to tell you about the meltdowns I have when things don’t go as I plan. The point is to tell you how God has completely turned me from that girl crying over nothing to the girl who has embraced this season of waiting. In the beginning, this decision was all that occupied my mind, and I was in a constant state of stress over the whole situation. Now I feel more at peace than I have in a long time and it definitely isn’t from my own doing. At some point, the word “wait” started showing up. It would come up in quotes, sermons, songs, etc. I knew the Lord was telling me to wait, but what I hadn’t realized is that He didn’t just want me to wait but to embrace it. It is often said that when God makes you wait for something, He is using that time to prepare you for what is coming. Well, over the past few months I can see how He has been changing me in ways that might be useful for what’s up ahead. My heart posture towards Him and myself have both changed in better ways and the people He has placed in my life recently have had a major impact. God has used different means to show this to me because I could not have come to this on my own. He has taught me why I need to trust in Him and how to wait for His plan instead of my own.

I’m not a patient person so this was not easy, but a sermon given by my pastor was titled, “I’m Waiting As Fast As I can.” In the sermon, one of the points was to focus on God and not the wait. Focusing on Him instead of the wait is trusting in His plan and timing which is far better than ours. The sermon had another point about imitating habits that grow strong faith. It said that when we’re in the waiting room of life we shouldn't put our lives on hold. We need to keep praying, serving, and meeting with fellow believers. Praying and spending time with other believers has been the biggest help during this season because sometimes God uses others to tell us what He has been trying to tell us Himself. Other believers can also relate to your situations a lot more than you realize. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “God does everything just right and on time, but people can never completely understand what He is doing.” He has such a bigger plan for me than I could ever come up with on my own and I need to trust in that. Part of that plan is the timing of it and if I have to wait to figure it out then that is what I need to do. The best way to do that is to embrace it and just accept that there are some things that I don’t know yet and that is okay. Jeremiah 29:11 has been a constant reminder for me lately, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” I know that the Lord has a plan and a purpose for me, and He will bring it to fruition in His perfect time, not mine.

In a message by Steven Furtick, he said that the purpose of God is determined and cannot be interrupted or stopped. God will see through whatever He has planned for each of us. I realized that I cannot mess up the purpose He has for my life. He created me for a reason and has a specific purpose for me. I don’t have the power to change it, mess it up, or run from it so the best thing I can do is to embrace this season and trust in Him to lead me to what is next. It has not been easy, and I still have my moments but looking back I realize how much I have changed when it comes to not knowing, not having a plan, and not sticking to my original schedule. Once I started really trusting Him, I have felt more calmness and peacefulness than I ever thought I could in this situation.